Are you a perfectionist?

Heres permission to stop pursuing perfection. Perfectionism is impossible. Were all imperfect.

Perfectionism leaves a trail of wreckage on our psyches, careers, families and entire self-perceptions. Are you thinking, "Why should I change this? Whats wrong with striving for perfection? Isnt it the best course of action?"

Heres the perfectionism problem: Perfectionism pushes us to chase the unattainable. Then we chastise ourselves for never achieving our visions of perfection sparking a cycle of self-sabotage and procrastination. Along the way, we miss potential opportunities. Its hard to see clearly when were focused on being perfect.

Perfectionism muffles our ability to hear our true dreams and desires. Listening to our inner selves is critical to discovering life purpose, determining career moves and discerning feelings about the relationships in our lives.

Wondering if youre seeking perfection? These signals may say you are. You:

- Find yourself procrastinating.
- Dont follow through on commitments.
- Feel stuck (feeling stuck covers a lot of territory, but can signal that perfectionism is an obstacle).
- Are unable to come up with a "good" idea.
- Are challenged to take action.
- Beat yourself up for a "transgression" based someone elses comment or something only you have noticed.
- Have difficulty accepting compliments or giving yourself credit for your accomplishments.
- Make fear or guilt-based decisions.

Oh sure, there are moments that feel perfect often known as peak experiences. At these times, were at our best, "in the zone," experiencing peace or amazement as our labors bear fruit. Perfectionism and a perfect moment are different. Peak moments and experiences are not born of fear. They result from passion, joy, perseverance and a strong belief in yourself. Perfectionism, meanwhile, roots itself in the basic belief that were never good enough.

Perfectionism holds us back with a fear that we are inadequate, not enough and somehow so flawed that we must reach for more. Fear cracks its whip and we call back, "How high should I jump? Just tell me what to do and Ill do it."

Dont confuse perfectionism with excellence. Pursuing excellence includes an understanding that taking actions may also mean losing, failing and generally messing up. People who excel (versus those who strive for perfection) accept that they will make mistakes and they learn from them. Theyll examine a mistake objectively and ask themselves, "What could I differently or better next time?"

Perfectionism can be subtle. Its often ironic the quest for perfectionism makes us less perfect. We hold back and get less of what we want. True sometimes we make fewer mistakes, but these fewer mistakes come at a great cost. Isnt holding ourselves back from doing and saying what we want the biggest mistake of all?

So starting today, lets vow to give up the pursuit of perfectionism. Were imperfect always have been and always will be. Life is messy always has been and always will be.

So Go have fun, do what you want, be yourself. Really. What have you got to lose?